In Your Words
Welcome to In Your Words. Here you will find stories of struggles and successes written by visitors to When The Cut Goes In Deep. These stories are sorted by date of submission and have been edited for content and, in some cases, length. If you would like to share your story via this page, feel free to click here to do so. Enjoy the submissions below and feel free to submit your own story! Thank you again for supporting my site.
*Courtney, 33, from Atlanta, GA, USA* writes:
"My meds are Clonazapam, mainly used for seizures, but also helps with panic and anxiety. I have been on this for four years along with individual therapy once a month. It is very important to have therapy while taking meds because the combination is the best and safest way to be treated. I have tried all of the antidepressants, but they have all given me very bad side effects. For anyone taking Xanax: Don't use this because it's highly addictive and dangerous. Ask your doctor about other alternatives.
I have suffered from mild anxiety all my life. I am 33 years old now. I came to have panic disorder when I was 28 and had a nervous breakdown. It took several doctors to determine my problem because, unfortunately, I was also a substance/alcohol abuser for 10 years. The combination of 'self-medications' and my underlying problem of the disorder came to a halt by the grace of God. I still have a little anxiety at times, but I know how to tell when it is coming on, how to stop it, and cope through the skills I have learned in therapy. I am also a self-inflicter. This happens only when I get intoxicated. I am a still-struggling alcoholic. I know that I cannot drink under any circumstances and have been trying the best I can. To make this short, my underlying problems are all in relation. If I keep away from drinking, stay in therapy, and take my meds, I can function. I know this because I am now, finally, after years of struggling with getting my life on track, graduating from a four-year college this coming May with my BSN in Mental Health Nursing. I want to give back what was given to me. It is possible to fulfill your dreams if you do not give up on yourselfand your higher power. I'm living proof of that. I went from not being able to leave my house or drive for eight months five years ago to graduating with honors at a private college. I plan to go all the way with my education. I am going to start on my masters degree next year, and hopefully my doctorate in a few years. God bless, and don't ever give up. There is always hope and nothing is impossible!"
*C. Grant, 14, from NH, USA* writes:
"Here is my story about my mental illness. I was depressed for a long time when one of my friends
accused me of something I didnt do. The only way I could cope for awhile was cutting myself. When my
best friend Kyle (not his real name) found out, he told me to get help. I tried to, but I couldnt. And when things got tough at home
and I couldn't deal, I cut myself again. I cut myself 7 times, and everytime I did it I didn't want to die. When
I finally got help, I was able to go out and be myself again. I was able to hang out with my friends and tell Kyle
everything once more. And to this day if I feel down and
want to cut myself, I call Kyle. I invite him over, and he helps me out and tells me that
I am important and I really need to stay with him until I can see why I did what I did."
*Andraya, 19, from York, NE, USA* writes:
"I am a cutter, also known as a self-injurer. I have injured myself in various ways for 11 years now. I've also struggled with depression and a low self-esteem. I'm actually going to struggle with these things for the rest of my life. But recently I have been finding that they actually give me strength, and I can do things that other people can't because of the fight I've had with these. There is nothing wrong with not being normal, I take pride in it. The only problem in when it gets destructive. That is what I fight against, and I win every day."
*Margo, 16, from the Philippines* writes:
"Self-injurious behavior (SIB), is also referred to as self-harm, self-abuse or self-mutilation. It is when a person injures his or herself by cutting certain body parts using sharp or pointy objects like razors, knives or needles. SIB does not only involve cutting one’s self but also other self-injurious behaviors like pulling out hair, breaking bones, hitting or punching and even burning.
People who cut or hurt themselves are labeled as 'cutters'. It’s actually hard to explain to other people why some persons want to hurt themselves. As for me I can totally relate to this since I was in the borderline of being a cutter. I say 'borderline' because I really didn’t get majorly addicted to cut or hurt myself like the others. I just had the strong urges to hurt myself and as a result I would often hurt or cut myself, particularly my hand. The scars in my fingers are gone now but I still have a small scar in my left hand, a reminder of how sick I was before.
There are different reasons why people would hurt themselves. In my case, it was depression and anger. I was depressed often that I would punch the wall for no reason, hurting myself in the process and actually enjoying the pain. Then there was this one time when I got really angry with my brother that I pinched, skinned and cut my left hand (thus creating the small visible scar). As for most depressed people they wouldn’t just cut themselves. They would also punch or burn on some parts of their bodies, usually, the arms, shoulders, upper legs and parts that can be hidden from public view (cutters often wear sweaters or pants to hide the scars). Battered or sexually abused persons can also be cutters. Their abusers taught them that they were bad people and that by all means they should be punished. So even if they were already stopped being abused they still felt the need to punish themselves, often by cutting.
Persons with SIB actually get addicted with it, no matter how painful it gets. They (the persons with worst cases) often get hospitalized and are often under therapy or medication (Prozac or Lithium). These persons should have the full support of their family and friends. Fortunately for me, before my cutting turned to a habit, my best friend and I had a long good talk. Ok, I have to admit it was kinda mushy, but he made me realize that I was loved and cared for so I didn't have any reason to feel depressed and hurt myself. So with my best friend’s help and with some willpower, I slowly pulled away from depression and cutting.
Please take note that SIB is a serious problem that must be handled appropriately. Here are some tips: First, don’t hide every sharp object around the house since this only encourages the person with SIB to try alternative methods. Don’t get into an angry confrontation with the person with SIB for it may just trigger more anger or depression causing the person to hurt his or herself more. Don’t threaten to ground or punish him/her. But the best thing you can do is to consult a physician or health professional if you see a family member or a friend having the warning signs of self-injury. By following these tips you might save the life of a family or friend who’s engaging in SIB."
When The Cut Goes In Deep originally posted on 03-05-2000 and
reposted after remodeling on 06-22-2000.
Ronnie 2000-2003 ©
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