Signs your co-workers not a team player

Shrunken heads of the other "team members" are on spikes around his cubicle.

Every suggestion he makes at meetings is prefaced with, "Well, according to the Anarchist Cookbook..."

When asked to join in on the nightly departmental game of Quake, he politely declines, muttering something about a "delayed rollout time on the SAP server supporting the SQL database on the ASP website."

When you ask him what he did over the weekend, he responds, "Your wife."

Everyone else brings cookies. He brings empty Tupperware.

Putting a shower curtain across the entrance to his cubicle was pretty cool, but the razor wire, machine guns and piranha-stocked moat seem a tad excessive.

Hums the theme from "Jaws" whenever someone present an opposing view.

The stench of fresh urine coming from the potted plants in the corner of your office every morning.

Always forgets to clean the glass after photocopying his butt.

Repeatedly complains that with all the constant ringing of phones, he can barely hear the gangsta rap on his boom box.

Weighs his Post-It note pad before and after lunch.

Always screws up your chances at big money and great sex by refusing to forward those chain e-mail messages you send him.