To Wahoo or not to Wahoo, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outraged Native Americans or to lay down arms before this sea of troubles and, dropping opposition, end them.

Personally, I'm kind of fond of the old Chief. His crazy leer has been part of the experience of the Cleveland Indians for me for my whole life. I've never associated him with any Native American of any tribe whatsoever. He's just the icon of a baseball team that is named in honor of an early Native American team member, a local hero, a symbol not of the people called "Indians" but of the team.

On the other hand, I can almost understand the point-of-view of the Native Americans who object to the Chief. I'm Jewish. If the team was called the "Cleveland Jews", I'd think that was in honor of my people, but if the team symbol was a stylized Fagen with a huge schnoz and a lascivious gleam in his eye I might take offense.

There might be an answer that will avoid changing the team name and still remove the offending symbol. All of us who are politically correct know that the indigenous residents of this continent aren't Indians. This was a major mistake of the early explorers, who, not knowing the circumference of the Earth, thought that they'd made landfall in India. By the time they figured out their errors in navigation, the appellation had stuck. India, of course, is the true home of the Indians. So we could retain the "Indians" name and change the symbol to something representing the real Indians.

I'd vote for a mildly stylized representation of Mohandas Karamchad Gandhi. He was a man beloved of his own people and respected around the world with Henry Thoreau, Martin Luther King, Jr., and the Dalai Lama as a primary voice of the movement for nonviolent opposition to oppression. He was a founder of the current Indian state and a force that faced down the mighty British Empire with nothing more than his emaciated body, his iron will, and a grasp of the power of the media that was unique and has become the model for all nonviolent movements since.

So, let's put the Mahatma on our baseball caps, our jackets, our umbrellas, and all of the other Indians merchandise that fans just have to possess. Instead of drums we'll have dhotis. Instead of feathers we'll have drop-spindles. Instead of "Kill the umpire! Whatsamatta, ya blind?", we'll have "Bless the umpire with better vision!" This could create a whole new image for the City of Cleveland! It might cut down on the number of hot dogs and beers sold at the ballpark, as fans turn to chapatis and vegetarian fare. I'd fear for the future of the various rib burn-offs. The entertainment district in the flats would have to be revamped with less rock and more ragas. But, I ask you, is this too much of a sacrifice in light of the injustices committed against the Native American peoples since the European Invasion began five hundred years ago? Besides, I love curry.

As I said at the top, I like the Chief. I'd like him to hang around. I'd like something to stay the same as it was in my childhood. But if the Chief has to go for the sake of not offending our Native American brothers and sisters, let's replace him with a symbol that means something, that will let the world know that Cleveland is a city that believes, with Gandhi, that all men, of all races, creeds, and nationalities, are brothers, and that standing up for your principles doesn't mean striking down your opponent. I wonder if Gandhi ever mentioned the virture of not taking oneself too seriously? It would have been in character. Maybe we could keep the Chief, after all.

With a commentary for WCPN, this is Marc Myers.

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