"Scorpy-Stew"
requested by Rebecca
by feldman
"The female of a species is often more vicious than the male--"
"Don't quote the Austin Powers Soundtrack to me, you washed up leather-boy. Now do you have any advice that I might not have previously gleaned from the Evil Overlord List?"
"You underestimate Lois, and this is where you fail. She is not only a mother, she is your mother. Whatever intelligence you posses, you have her to thank for."
"That woman--""
Harvey slots a binky into Stewie's mouth, and despite his best intentions and the murderous glare he gives the neural clone, he begins to suck at the pacifier.
"Are you content to let me finish?"
Stewie plucks the binky out long enough to say, "You play dirty pool, you gimp. I respect that." He suckles with stern concentration, the handle end of the pacifier flailing.
"As I said, she is your mother. Humans invest a great deal in their offspring, and it is not uncommon for a mother to risk her life in defense of her child."
The handle suddenly stills and the binky falls into Stewie's lap. "My God! That's brilliant!"
Harvey leans back into the overstuffed sofa, nodding with satisfaction as Stewie builds up steam.
"I simply need to orchestrate a situation where it appears that I'm in mortal danger, yet it will be Lois who'll take one for the team! I'll be rid of her--" Stewie wraps his arms around Harvey's leg and tries to tug him toward the front door. "Quick man! There's traffic outside and playing to be done!"