"I'm Fine"
requested by Kazbaby
by feldman
"I'm not gonna lose my mind. It's all I've got left."
He knew it for a lie when he said it, knew he was screwed six ways from Sunday, and truth be told, that's what had brought the smile to his face. There's no rule that says you can't lose everything. There are no rules, period.
The fullness of time and horror makes him admit that, even if Aeryn had believed him, the bald-faced reassurance hadn't ever been a lie. The snicker and smile had been a prayer, like the ritual of the chessboard, a grasping hoodoo to reinforce control.