~~~
~~~~
~~~~~
~~~~~~
Pies and Other Related Topics
Click on a link below to see other characters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pies~~~~Cakes~~~~~Zims~~~~~Kais~~~~~Dumbaby
Pies
Known to be the kindest of all characters, Pies provide an important hopefulness that Good will reign over evil. These beings defy the Kais to their utmost ability, and are perpetually launching attacks to eliminate the evil forces.
Pies began through some sort of an accident. A double-O agent by the name of Bartimus Pye was on his way to confer with others by means of a council. On his way, Mr. Pye was mugged by an unknown man. Apparantly, this new person wanted to infiltrate the council and do other various things. In short, the new man took Bartimus' name (which he thought to be Pie, after the baked pastry or the number 3.14159... -- he uses it now as both) and his identity. This new '00Pie' doffed a mask in the shape of a pie so that no one would know that he wasn't the real Pye.
00Pie attended the council and, of course, everyone noticed his obscure disguise. Not wanting to be rude, though, lest it be the real Pye, they said nothing of it. Thus, 00Pie infiltrated a high council and left his mark. Under 00Pie's leadership, another man, known to all as 'Distorto', gained the throne and presided over all. Mr. Pie gained ranks, too, until he became better than Double-O four, but not quite as good as Double-O three. Not wanting to go through the hassle of changing everyone's rank, they gave Pie the title of his Destiny. They crowned him Double-O 3.14159... (Double-O Pi or Pie for short). 00Pie felt honored, and led his people to many skirmishes with the cake bakeries and with the Kais.
Thus, we have all that is known about what has come to be known as the Pies. They are the sworn enemies of the Kais and all of their minions, which are mainly Cakes. They strive for an everlasting peace in the world, one in which all beings live in harmony (except with Cakes and Kais of course). The secret of their headquarters remains a secret, but we can tell you this: It is known as "The Pie Bakery." Sources suggest that the same might be true for Cakes and Kais, but with the "Pie" changed to "Cake" or "Kai."
Perhaps I should have mentioned the Pie Launcher. As we all know, all secret agents must have a gadget or two for him to use. The Pie Launcher counts as three. With it's built-in oven and a new-and-improved temperature regulator, the Launcher is to no equal when it comes to baking and serving Pies. When I say 'serving' I mean something a little different than placing a steaming pie on a table for one to eat. You see, the Pie Launcher is 00Pie's chief weapon. It lanches pies into the air to be used as projectiles against enemies, and is a force to be reckoned with. It also houses a mulitude of other various abilities, and is, in a sense, an all-purpose tool. Oh yes--I forgot: the Pie Launcher is at least 40 feet tall. Thank you.
Now, I hope you know a bit more about the world of Pies than you did before. Use your knowledge wisely, as you never know when it might come in handy...
The Pie Theme Song
Sing to the tune of American Pie by Don McLean
A long, long time ago,
when my life was new and pies were cheap,
I...used to eat them...everyday!
But then the prices came a-killin',
cakes dropped to ten per shillin'.
And I knew I was outta luck,
the day...the Kais were formed.
So...Bye, bye Mister 00-PIE,
shot my launcher at the bak'ry but the bak'ry was dry.
Them good ol' Pies were eatin' some Cake,
singin', "This'll be the day that I'm Kai!
This'll be the day that I'm Kai."
Not much more is written (the old records were lost), so you can make the rest up yourselves or wait until we come up with more!
The Pie Anthem
Say in accordance to Pledge of Allegiance.
I pledge allegiance,
to the Pies,
of the glorious bakeries.
And to the ovens,
for which they bake,
one Piedom,
under 00Pie,
uncuttable,
without liberty and justice for cakes.
Red Hair's Theme Song
Boy, I'll knock your lights out,
Boy, get my Smee over here.
Boy, you'd better swab the decks,
Boy, here's a headswipe for your work.
Thank you. I will continue posting any songs on this page as they get made up.
Famous Pie Sayings
Below are various Pie sayings. To the right of each, it says what the real saying is (if there is one).
"He was a tight-fisted hand at the oven, Pie..." (A Christmas Carol: He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge...)
"Live and eat Pie" (James Bond: Live and let Die)
"Live and let Pie: (James Bond: Live and let Die)
"It's always cooked better on the other side" (The grass is always greener on the other side)
"Something's rotten in the bakery of Cakes" (Hamlet: Something's rotten in the state of Denmark)
"You can't overcook a good pie"
"The name's Pie. 00Pie." (James Bond: The name's Bond. James Bond)
"There's a cake in our midst."
"Stay back Cake--you don't know what you're dealing with..."
I will continue posting sayings as I remember them. Feel free to email me any more sayings if you can think of any :^)
Email me at...
